How are values formed? In our first article in this series, we looked at values as being the most influential motivators in our lives. In turn, our system of values has a hand in the way our subconscious beliefs are formed. These beliefs have an impact on how we reason and react in certain situations.
How are values formed?
The very first step in changing our old values and/or creating new values, according to NLP, is to extract them from the subconscious mind.
Determining our values is easily accomplished through the use of a pen and paper.
1. Determining your core values
Identifying your own core personal values is required in order to address a problem or set of problems that have been eating away at you for a long time. When a person has problems with their personal values system, it’s usually because they have experienced a lot of conflict in their everyday lives.
Writing down your values and being able to see them on paper can assist you in analyzing and getting a full understanding of what’s happening in life and why. A lot of times a small list with a few items on it is all a person needs to get a subconscious wake up call to make positive changes.
Your personal values system can be broken down into four steps.
2. Selecting a Life Domain
Your life is divided into several interrelated facets. You need to determine what facets are being affected in order to study the set of values accurately. Difficulties can affect one or more of the following areas:
– Physical needs
– Family life
– Personal finances
– Spiritual needs
– Professional life
– Personal development
– Social needs
It is not uncommon for certain problems to affect two or more areas. An example of this would be if a person is concerned about their mounting debt and at the same time feels undervalued at their sub-par paying job. This person’s issues touch at least three areas of their life – their personal finances, personal development, and professional life.
Get your Central Values Listed
The best way to get this information from the subconscious to paper is to ask yourself what matters to you the most and at the same time, keeping in mind your target areas.
Don’t concern yourself with the mental process that it will take. Your mind is going to take care of that. Just make sure you record your first group of ideas that come to mind immediately after asking yourself that question. Any supporting values that come up will do so later.
3. Prioritize Values.
You got through the second step. Great work! Now you have access to a key part of your overall core values group.
Before moving forward, you need to analyze how you have subconsciously prioritized these key values. In order to do this, take your list and number each value in the order of importance – the most important value should be marked “1.”
Below is a sample list to give you an idea:
Artistic expression (5)
Happy family (2)
Stable job (4)
4. Locate any Missing Values.
If you have any missing values in your value system, it can cause setbacks for you. Consider a value to add to your current value set to bring some balance back to your target areas.
An example of this would be if you are already working at a high-paying job, but are still unfulfilled in your professional life. Consider that there may be something in your value system preventing you from going after the goals that in the end will bring you happiness.
Fixing conflicting values
If you run into a situation where you find a conflicting value in your overall system of values, you can, using an NLP technique, condition your mind to receive a new value that you’d like to develop.
For example, say you have a “free spirit” value that is in direct conflict with your “stability” value. Your option would then be to switch the internal representation of these two values.
Switching Values – A Submodalities Exercise
Imagine the particular value that you would like to replace. Consider the submodalities of how it’s represented internally (e.g. color, sound, temperature, etc.).
Bring to mind the value that you would like to build and develop instead. Note how the subconscious mind has it encoded in your memory.
Switch the characteristics or submodalities of the two values. Be sure to switch any visual submodalities before moving on to other things.
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Now how do you feel about this old value? If you’re still pretty strongly attached to it, repeat the exercise mentioned above until, through the submodalities technique, you have speeded up the eradication of your old value.